1
00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:03,780
[Inhales] HUP! ONE!
2
00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:05,938
[Counting Indistinctly]
3
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,440
[Counting Continues]
4
00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:11,376
ONE! [Counting Indistinctly]
5
00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,645
HEY! [Shudders]
6
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:16,648
HERB? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
7
00:00:16,716 --> 00:00:19,551
I WORK HERE, REMEMBER?
WHAT HAPPENED?
8
00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:22,331
LUCILLE LOCK YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE
AGAIN LAST NIGHT? HMM? HMM? HMM?
9
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:26,058
HARDLY. WELL, YOU'VE NEVER
COME IN THIS EARLY BEFORE.
10
00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:28,894
MAYBE I WAS OUT
WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.
11
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:32,230
[Stifled Laughing]
12
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:35,200
WHY NOT? I'M A VERY
ELIGIBLE BACHELOR.
13
00:00:35,268 --> 00:00:38,436
- SINCE WHEN?
- SINCE LAST NIGHT.
14
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:41,039
LUCILLE AND I SPLIT
UP, AND I WALKED OUT.
15
00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:42,652
OH, NO! OH, YEAH!
16
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:44,954
YOU'VE GOT A BEAUTIFUL
MARRIAGE, HERB. NOT ANYMORE.
17
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:46,911
HERB! GOOD MORNING, GUYS.
18
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,625
MORNING, BAILEY. HERB,
IT CAN'T END LIKE THIS!
19
00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:53,385
LOOK, LES, IT'S OVER, SO YOU
MIGHT AS WELL GET USED TO IT.
20
00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:56,299
HOW CAN YOU SAY A BEAUTIFUL,
MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP...
21
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:59,258
IS OVER, JUST LIKE THAT?
IT WASN'T BEAUTIFUL!
22
00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:02,194
OH, PLEASE DON'T SAY
THAT, HERB! LOOK, LES,
23
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:06,231
YOU CANNOT BUILD A
RELATIONSHIP ON SEX ALONE!
24
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,900
[Groans]
25
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:13,004
♪ BABY IF YOU'VE EVER WONDERED ♪
26
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:17,142
♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪
27
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:20,545
♪ I'M LIVING ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪
28
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:26,184
♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪
29
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:29,821
♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKING AND UNPACKING ♪
30
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:33,358
♪ TOWN TO TOWN UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪
31
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:38,363
♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪
32
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:42,534
♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪
33
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:45,170
♪ I'M AT WKRP ♪
34
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:49,073
♪ IN CINCINNATI ♪♪
35
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:55,146
ABOUT THIS, HERB? YEP.
MY MARRIAGE IS OVER.
36
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:57,982
THIS IS TERRIBLE.
I KNOW. TOO BAD.
37
00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,651
HERB, THIS IS A TEMPORARY
SEPARATION, ISN'T IT?
38
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,422
NOPE. BUT, UH, THAT'S LIFE.
39
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:07,692
THAT'S WHAT
PEOPLE SAY. I MEAN...
40
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:12,330
YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE THE COURAGE
TO MOVE ON AND DO THE BEST YOU CAN,
41
00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:14,867
EVEN THOUGH YOUR
WHOLE LIFE IS FALLING APART.
42
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:16,501
[Sighs]
43
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:21,506
HELLO, JENNIFER? GUESS
WHAT? I'M GETTING A DIVORCE.
44
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,575
HELLO?
45
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:30,382
HERB, WHAT WILL YOU
DO? WHERE WILL YOU GO?
46
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:33,290
I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS
I'LL HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU.
47
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,521
OH, THAT WOULD BE FUN!
48
00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:38,935
I'VE JUST GOT THIS
LITTLE MURPHY BED.
49
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,904
IT'S PRETTY SMALL, BUT I
GUESS WE COULD SHARE IT.
50
00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:43,795
NO THANKS, LES.
51
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:46,397
LOOK, UH, ANDY, HOW ABOUT YOU?
52
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:49,635
HUH? UH, NO. MY BROTHER'S IN
TOWN WITH MY MOTHER, HERB.
53
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,769
IT'S VERY, VERY CROWDED.
54
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:55,340
I THINK HERB WANTS A DIVORCE.
JUST LET HIM SLEEP ON THE COUCH!
55
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:58,143
WELL, HE CAN'T STAY HERE,
BAILEY. [Snaps Fingers] I KNOW!
56
00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,579
WE CAN DRAW STRAWS.
THE WINNER GETS HERB!
57
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,250
EXCUSE ME.
58
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:07,685
YEAH? DID YOU JUST CALL ME?
59
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,754
YOU BET.
60
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:13,491
I AM A FREE MAN.
NO MORE EXCUSES.
61
00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:20,131
ANDY! ANDY, I CANNOT HANDLE
SOMETHING LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW.
62
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,267
HOW ABOUT TONIGHT?
63
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:25,436
BAILEY, TELL ME THIS ISN'T
TRUE... NOW NOT REALLY.
64
00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:29,207
A LITTLE DINNER, A LITTLE
WINE. WE CAN'T HAVE THIS, LES.
65
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:32,088
NOW THEY HAVE TO GET BACK
TOGETHER FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN.
66
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:35,013
HOW ABOUT AROUND 7:30? [Exhales]
67
00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:37,141
EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT
MARRIED, HERB, I'M NOT
68
00:03:37,165 --> 00:03:39,451
GOING TO GO OUT WITH
YOU. NEVER. NEVER, EVER.
69
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:44,589
WANNA BET? THINGS ARE
DIFFERENT, JENNY-POO.
70
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:48,626
JENNY-POO?
71
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,567
♪♪ [Rock]
72
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,175
♪♪ [Volume Decreases] HELLO.
73
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,520
HI. HI.
74
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:07,679
- HERB IS GETTING A DIVORCE.
- YEAH?
75
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,381
WE CAN'T HAVE THAT. NO.
76
00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,490
EXCUSE ME. OKAY.
77
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:24,663
COME ON, MAN. GIVE ME THE BREAD.
78
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:29,267
LOOK, MAN, I GOT AN IDEA. UH, DOUBLE
OR NOTHING TONIGHT. YOU PICK THE GAME.
79
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:33,271
IS THERE A SIGN ON ME THAT SAYS
"DUMMY"? WHERE IS IT, ON MY BACK?
80
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:37,375
VENUS, I'M... FOR THE SAKE OF
RACIAL HARMONY, I BEG OF YOU, MAN.
81
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,278
JUST... VENUS, I NEED YOUR HELP.
82
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:42,881
DON'T YOU WHITE PEOPLE
HAVE ANY MONEY AT ALL?
83
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:46,518
I DON'T WANT MONEY.
WHAT IS THAT, A QUARTER?
84
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:49,320
WE'RE DRAWING STRAWS.
THE WINNER GETS HERB.
85
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,389
WINNER? [Laughs]
86
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:54,359
WELL, YES. THAT'S
WHO HERB STAYS WITH.
87
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,861
STAYS WITH? YES.
88
00:04:56,930 --> 00:05:00,370
YOU MEAN LIKE, HAVE HERB COME INTO
YOUR HOME AND STAY THERE AND NOT GO AWAY?
89
00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:06,204
IT'S ONLY FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.
COME ON. TAKE A STRAW, VENUS.
90
00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:10,542
- I WOULDN'T RENT HERB A ROOM.
- YOU KNOW, I WOULD.
91
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:14,546
- YOU WOULD?
- SURE, FOR... 15 BUCKS A DAY.
92
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:19,650
JOHNNY, THIS MAN AND THIS WOMAN HAVE LIVED
TOGETHER AND LOVED TOGETHER FOR 12 YEARS.
93
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:22,954
TWELVE YEARS, JOHNNY. THEY
HAVE TWO LITTLE CHILDREN.
94
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,457
TEN BUCKS.
95
00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:28,994
JOHNNY, THEY HAVE A BEAUTIFUL
HOME, A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP.
96
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:32,897
AND NOW ALL THAT'S IN ASHES, AND YOU
WANT TO MAKE MONEY FROM THEIR MISERY?
97
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:35,767
NO! I THOUGHT NOT.
I'LL GO TELL HERB.
98
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,214
- LES!
- YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL
HUMAN BEING, JOHNNY.
99
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:41,606
- THANK YOU.
- OH, WELL, THANK YOU.
100
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:46,777
WHAT ARE YOU STARIN' AT?
101
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,281
YOUR "DUMMY" SIGN'S
ON A LITTLE CROOKED.
102
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,792
UH, JENNIFER, CAN YOU FIND HERB?
103
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,260
YEAH, NOW I WANT
TO SEE HIM. [Mutters]
104
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:09,000
- YOU WANT TO SEE ME, BIG GUY?
- [Whistles] THAT WAS FAST.
105
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,803
WELL, I HAPPENED TO BE
STANDING AT JENNIFER'S DESK.
106
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,973
OH, YEAH? AH, I SEE.
WELL, UH, HAVE A SEAT.
107
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:18,143
SURELY. UH, LISTEN, HERB, UH,
108
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:22,547
LES HAS TOLD ME ABOUT THIS...
TROUBLE THAT YOU'RE HAVING AT HOME.
109
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:26,117
YEAH.
110
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,153
WELL, I, UH...
111
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,821
I JUST WANTED TO SAY
HOW DARN SORRY I AM,
112
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:33,057
HOW PAINFUL I KNOW
THIS MUST BE FOR YOU,
113
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:35,226
AND THAT YOU CAN'T
STAY AT MY HOUSE.
114
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:41,043
THAT'S OKAY, BIG GUY, 'CAUSE
I'M STAYING WITH JOHNNY.
115
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,000
OH, GOOD. THAT'S
VERY GOOD, IN FACT.
116
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,181
SEE, WE'RE GONNA REMODEL OUR
GUEST ROOM. YOU UNDERSTAND.
117
00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:48,184
SURELY. WE HAVEN'T STARTED YET.
I MEAN, THE GUYS HAVEN'T COME IN.
118
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:52,043
THEY COME IN TOMORROW. WAY I SEE IT, WE'RE
JUST GONNA TEAR DOWN THE WHOLE DARN THING.
119
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:57,015
ACTUALLY, WHAT I HAVE IN MIND...
PROBABLY TAKE SEVERAL MONTHS.
120
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,117
WELL, THAT'S OKAY,
BIG GUY, 'CAUSE, UH...
121
00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:02,821
WELL, I'M GETTING MY OWN PLACE
IN A COUPLE OF NIGHTS, YOU KNOW?
122
00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:06,358
IT'LL HAVE WALL-TO-WALL
SHAG CARPETING,
123
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,094
SEVERAL FIREPLACES
AND LOTS OF MIRRORS.
124
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,532
LUCILLE.
125
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,501
LUCILLE!
126
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:19,037
HELLO, JENNIFER.
127
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:24,809
WHAT YOU ARE DOING
IS A TERRIBLE THING.
128
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,111
NOW MEET ME FOR A DRINK
LATER, AND WE'LL TALK.
129
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,746
SURELY.
130
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:32,150
HELLO, MR. CARLSON.
131
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:36,387
UH... H-HI! [Chuckling]
HOW'S IT GOING? UH...
132
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,691
- HELLO, HERB.
- HELLO.
133
00:07:39,759 --> 00:07:42,199
WELL, I'M SURE YOU TWO
WOULD LIKE TO BE ALONE.
134
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,162
OH, NO, STAY!
135
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,330
I THINK I'LL JUST
STEP RIGHT IN HERE.
136
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:48,332
DON'T GO.
137
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:52,604
UM, WELL, I PACKED YOUR THINGS
AND PUT THEM IN YOUR CAR, HERB.
138
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:56,074
- THANK YOU.
- GOOD-BYE.
139
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,176
NO, STAY. DON'T GO.
140
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,341
SOMEBODY SAY SOMETHING.
141
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,520
[Clears Throat] WE'RE REMODELING
THE GUEST ROOM. UH...
142
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,927
I CRIED LAST NIGHT, HERB.
143
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:20,298
OH, GOOD. I MEAN, GO ON.
144
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:23,869
WELL, I THOUGHT ABOUT
OUR LIFE TOGETHER, AND...
145
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:27,471
AND WHAT'S BEEN
HAPPENING TO US, AND, UH...
146
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:31,542
AND I THOUGHT, UH... YES?
147
00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:34,712
I THOUGHT, SO WHAT?
148
00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:36,914
"SO WHAT?"
149
00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:39,862
YEAH! SO WHAT? UH, WE'LL
ALL TALK LATER, OKAY? COME ON.
150
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:42,265
I MEAN, JUST WHO IS THIS
CREEP I'VE BEEN COOKING FOR...
151
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,422
AND-AND STAYING HOME
FOR EVERY LOUSY DAY?
152
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,925
I THOUGHT ABOUT MYSELF FOR ONCE.
153
00:08:46,993 --> 00:08:50,060
JUST WHAT'S HE DONE THAT'S
SO DARN IMPORTANT, HUH?
154
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,906
SHE SEEMS TO BE
BEARING UP PRETTY WELL. I...
155
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:09,848
[Ock On Door] IT'S ANDY.
156
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:12,918
HI. HEY. HOW'S IT GOING, JOHNNY?
157
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:14,920
SO, WHERE'S HERB?
158
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,922
HE'S OUT BUYING DIP.
159
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,858
DIP?
160
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,026
LISTEN, MY MAN.
HOW YOU HOLDING UP?
161
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,362
[Laughs] OH, I'M FINE.
162
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:27,577
IT'S BEEN REALLY GREAT HAVING
HERB HERE THE LAST TWO NIGHTS.
163
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,579
TOMORROW NIGHT, YOU GET HIM.
164
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:32,236
OH, HO, HO. NO, NO, NO, I
DON'T. OH, YES, YOU DO.
165
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,283
AND NOT ONLY THAT, MY FRIEND,
166
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:38,042
BUT YOU GET THE BULLFIGHTER
ON REAL BLACK VELVET.
167
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:42,881
YOU GET THE BATTERY-POWERED
GO-GO DANCING NOVELTY SENSATION.
168
00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:46,151
YOU GET THE COLOR-COORDINATED
REPROCESSED STYROFOAM CLOTHING.
169
00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:48,986
AND, AS A BONUS,
YOU GET THE SLIDES.
170
00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:51,355
THE SLIDES? YEAH.
171
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,058
HE, UH, TAKES PICTURES
OF HIS CAR. CAR.
172
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,894
CAR.
173
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:59,497
HEY, GUYS. ALL RIGHT.
BIG NIGHT TONIGHT, HUH?
174
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:02,667
YEAH. YEAH, BOY.
175
00:10:02,735 --> 00:10:04,836
I GOT SOME DIP,
BEER IN THE FRIDGE,
176
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:07,072
AND I REALLY APPRECIATE
YOU GUYS GIVING ME THIS PARTY.
177
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,540
OH, IT'S MY PLEASURE, HERB.
IT'S KIND OF A WARM-UP...
178
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:12,577
FOR MY SUMMER
DINNER DANCE PARTIES.
179
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:15,080
HEY, JOHNNY, WE HAVE
ANY PIÑA COLADA MIX?
180
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:18,750
YEAH, WE DO, HERB. THERE'S A
FIVE-GALLON DRUM UNDER THE SINK.
181
00:10:21,255 --> 00:10:23,700
HEY, SORRY I'M LATE. JUST
GOT OFF THE AIR. HOW'D IT GO?
182
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,691
HEY, GUYS. WHAT'S
HAPPENING, HERB?
183
00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:29,627
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
184
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:33,031
UH, NOTHING SO
FAR. UH, LISTEN. UH...
185
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:36,367
HE WANTS TO GO TO A PLACE
CALLED THE KING KONG LOUNGE.
186
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,904
YOU GO AWAY FROM
HERE. I'D LIKE TO.
187
00:10:38,973 --> 00:10:41,673
ALL RIGHTY!
188
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:43,708
DIP. UH, NONE FOR ME, THANKS.
189
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,210
OH? HEY. DO YOU HAVE ANY CHIPS?
190
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:49,047
WHAT DO YOU WANT,
THE WORLD? COME ON.
191
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:52,818
COME ON. ALL RIGHT.
NOW, THE WAY I SEE IT,
192
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:57,122
WE ARE FIVE HEAVYWEIGHT
BACHELORS ON THE MOVE, RIGHT?
193
00:10:57,191 --> 00:10:59,658
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A COUPLE
OF DRINKS HERE, EAT THE DIP,
194
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:01,011
AND THEN HIT THE SINGLES BARS.
195
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,161
THAT'S A REAL GOOD IDEA,
HERB. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
196
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,830
WHY DON'T WE ALL SORT OF SIT
DOWN HERE, RELAX FOR A SECOND.
197
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,659
HERE. PULL UP A
CHAIR. ALL RIGHT.
198
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:10,101
PULL UP A CHAIR AND SIT RIGHT
DOWN HERE, YOU BACHELOR, YOU.
199
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,472
WE'LL ALL SIT DOWN. WE'LL
JUST SORT OF, UH... RAP.
200
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:16,475
RAP. GOOD WORD. YEAH.
201
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:20,412
[Cans Popping]
202
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:28,620
I'LL TELL YOU
SOMETHING, HERB. HMM?
203
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:31,189
BEING SINGLE STINKS.
204
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,291
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO
BACK TO LUCILLE TONIGHT?
205
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,839
PACK YOUR BAGS, TAKE YOUR HULA
GIRL... WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
206
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:39,097
NOTHING. WE'RE JUST... RAPPIN'!
207
00:11:45,606 --> 00:11:47,872
[Tapping Rhythmically]
208
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,420
IS THIS WHAT YOU GUYS, UH,
USUALLY DO WHEN YOU GET TOGETHER?
209
00:11:50,444 --> 00:11:52,084
YEP. YEAH.
210
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:56,882
IT'S SORT OF ON THE
DULL SIDE, ISN'T IT? NO!
211
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:59,551
THIS IS ABOUT AS
EXCITING AS IT GETS.
212
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,154
HEY, VENUS. YEAH?
213
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,823
I BET YOU JUST DON'T SIT
AROUND LIKE THIS AND RAP.
214
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:09,294
NO, I WATCH A LOT OF TV.
GO ON, GET OUT OF HERE!
215
00:12:09,363 --> 00:12:11,875
YEAH, BUT SOMETIMES WHEN I'M REALLY
FEELING CRAZY... KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
216
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,877
YEAH. [Chuckles]
YEAH. [Chuckles]
217
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,833
I GO OUT AND PICK UP A... OH.
218
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,903
CHILI DOG.
219
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:21,773
CHILI DOG?
220
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:25,010
WHAT DO YOU DO, LES? I READ.
221
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,012
WHAT DO YOU READ?
222
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,915
WELL, MY FAVORITE AUTHOR IS,
UH, ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPÉRY.
223
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,753
YEAH, HE'S GOOD.
224
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:39,903
HOW ABOUT YOU, ANDY? WELL, I WORK,
I GO HOME, LISTEN TO A LITTLE MUSIC,
225
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,860
AND THEN, UH, JUST GO TO SLEEP.
226
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:46,031
- WHAT IS WRONG
WITH YOU GUYS?
- WE'RE SINGLE.
227
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:50,134
LOOK, GUYS, THERE IS A WHOLE
TOWN FULL OF CHICKS OUT THERE.
228
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:53,238
[Venus Chuckles] YEAH, IT'S
HARD TO FIND ONE YOU LIKE.
229
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:56,274
HEY, WHAT'S LIKE
GOT TO DO WITH IT?
230
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:59,711
ONE-NIGHT STANDS GET A
LITTLE OLD AFTER A WHILE, HERB.
231
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:05,650
THIS IS NUTS.
232
00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:09,253
AH, LISTEN, HERB. I MEAN,
YOU'LL GET USED TO IT, YOU KNOW?
233
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:13,424
PRETTY SOON, UH, YOU JUST START TO
LIVE WITHIN YOUR OWN MIND, YOU KNOW?
234
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:18,163
AND THEN GRADUALLY,
ALMOST IMPERCEPTIBLY,
235
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:23,768
YOU, UH, FIND YOURSELF
REALLY THINKING ABOUT POLITICS,
236
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:26,438
SELF-HYPNOSIS,
237
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:29,840
- HIGH FASHION.
- NOW WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD ON JUST A SECOND.
238
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:32,555
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO
PULL HERE? HEY, HERB, NOTHING.
239
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:35,313
YEAH, YEAH, YOU ARE TOO.
YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ME...
240
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:38,294
TO BELIEVE THAT WE'RE NOT HAVING A
GOOD TIME. HEY, MAN, I'M NOT TRYING...
241
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,618
- RIGHT, VENUS?
- NO, WE'RE HAVIN' A BALL.
242
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:42,854
DAMN RIGHT WE ARE.
GIVE ME SOME OF THAT DIP.
243
00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:44,856
HEY, HERB. HMM?
244
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:46,958
WHAT SAY WE TAKE A
LOOK AT YOUR SLIDES.
245
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:49,638
OH, MAN... NO, COME ON. I HEAR
YOU'RE QUITE A PHOTOGRAPHER.
246
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,074
I AM. WELL, GOOD. LET'S GO.
LET'S LOOK AT THE SLIDES.
247
00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:55,066
ARE YOU CRAZY? I WOULD
LIKE TO SEE HERB'S CAR.
248
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,834
MY CAR? YEAH. OKAY?
249
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:58,863
- OH. YEAH, SURE.
- ALL RIGHT. GOOD. HERE.
250
00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:02,640
LES, GRAB AHOLD OF THIS, WILL
YOU, AND PLUG THAT IN. SURE.
251
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,687
OH, WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT
ABOUT THE SINGLES BAR?
252
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:07,311
WE'LL SEE THE SINGLES BAR AS
SOON AS WE'VE LOOKED AT THE SLIDES.
253
00:14:07,381 --> 00:14:09,024
COME ON, GRAB
THIS. YOU READY? YEP.
254
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:10,648
OKAY.
255
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:13,217
SOMEBODY GET THE LIGHTS. YEP.
256
00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:17,555
OKAY, HERE WE GO.
257
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:21,471
HEY! HEY, HEY, HEY.
258
00:14:21,495 --> 00:14:23,561
WHAT'S THAT? THAT'S MY CAR.
259
00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:27,965
THAT'S THE FRONT.
260
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,835
THERE'S THE BACK.
I'VE SEEN THIS.
261
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:34,005
OH, HERE'S ONE WITH THE
DOORS OPEN AND THE HOOD UP.
262
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:37,742
WHY WOULD ANYBODY TAKE
A PICTURE LIKE THAT? SHH!
263
00:14:37,811 --> 00:14:40,356
[Venus] HEY. NOW THIS IS A
SHOT OF ME AT DISNEYLAND.
264
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,392
NOW THE OTHER GUY
IS GOOFY, YOU KNOW.
265
00:14:42,416 --> 00:14:44,682
IT'S NOT REALLY GOOFY.
266
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:47,630
IT'S NOT REALLY GOOFY.
IT'S JUST SOME GUY IN A SUIT.
267
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:51,523
YOU MEAN THEY DON'T HAVE
THE REAL GOOFY DOWN THERE?
268
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:54,591
[Venus] AW. NO.
269
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,362
AH.
270
00:14:58,432 --> 00:15:03,134
NOW THIS IS A SHOT OF A KITCHENETTE
IN A MOTEL IN WHICH WE STAYED.
271
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:06,181
I MEAN, YOU DON'T FIND TOO MANY
KITCHENETTES IN THESE PLACES,
272
00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:08,851
SO I THOUGHT IT'D MAKE A PRETTY
GOOD SHOT. THAT'S REALLY NICE.
273
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:10,809
IS THAT WOOD? FORMICA.
274
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:13,277
AHA.
275
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,313
[Slides Clicking] AH.
276
00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:17,482
AW. CUTE. [Men Laughing]
277
00:15:17,551 --> 00:15:19,695
THAT'S MY DAUGHTER,
BUNNY. [Les] SHE'S CUTE.
278
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,920
YEAH, REAL CUTE.
[Johnny] SHE SURE IS.
279
00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:23,988
[Slides Clicking]
280
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:27,492
[Men Laughing] LUCILLE,
HERBERT JR. AND...
281
00:15:27,561 --> 00:15:30,328
OH, THERE'S MY CAR
AGAIN IN THE BACKGROUND.
282
00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:34,116
I'LL BE DARNED. HERB JR.
WEARS WHITE SHOES TOO.
283
00:15:34,735 --> 00:15:37,802
SURE. I MEAN, HE LIKES TO
DRESS LIKE ME, YOU KNOW?
284
00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:42,173
I'M, UH... I'M KIND OF HIS HERO.
285
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:44,175
[Les] NEXT SLIDE, HERB.
286
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,529
UM... LOOK, WHY DON'T
WE JUST GO ON OUT...
287
00:15:46,553 --> 00:15:47,445
NO, NO, NO, NO.
288
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,781
WE'LL GO IN A MINUTE.
COME ON. SLIDES.
289
00:15:49,850 --> 00:15:52,183
THIS IS FUN.
290
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,686
ALL RIGHT. [Slides Clicking]
291
00:15:54,755 --> 00:15:57,188
[Laughing]
292
00:15:57,257 --> 00:16:00,625
THERE THOSE LITTLE DICKENS
ARE... BOTH OF THEM IN OUR POOL.
293
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:03,006
NICE POOL. YEAH.
YOU KNOW IT TAKES...
294
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:05,864
ABOUT 30 MINUTES TO BLOW
ONE OF THOSE THINGS UP?
295
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:15,640
BUT IT'S WORTH IT. IT'S
WORTH EVERY MINUTE OF IT.
296
00:16:15,709 --> 00:16:21,646
GEE. HERB AND BUNNY HAVE
GROWN QUITE A BIT SINCE THEN.
297
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:26,184
- [Slides Clicking]
- AW!
298
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,186
NICE FAMILY, HUH? YEAH.
299
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:30,188
THAT'S LUCILLE AND
MY BIRTHDAY CAKE.
300
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,390
[Johnny] THE PARTY DOLL. YEAH.
301
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:36,627
SEE, RIGHT ON TOP IT SAYS
THERE, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BIG HERB."
302
00:16:36,697 --> 00:16:40,298
MY SON AND I HAVE THE SAME NAME,
SO I'M BIG HERB, AND HE'S LITTLE HERB.
303
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,333
[Chuckles]
304
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,877
THAT'S IT! OKAY, LET'S GO!
305
00:16:45,906 --> 00:16:48,506
HEY, COME ON, HERB.
I'M-I'M LIKING THESE SLIDES.
306
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,842
NO, MAN, NO. I'M, UH...
THAT'S, UH... THAT'S IT.
307
00:16:50,911 --> 00:16:53,678
I, UH... I'M GONNA JUST GIVE
THEM TO LUCILLE ANYWAY.
308
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:56,059
SHOW THE NEXT SLIDE,
HERB. NO, NO, THAT'S IT. NO.
309
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,061
COME ON! NO! PLEASE.
310
00:16:58,085 --> 00:16:59,784
LIGHTS.
311
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,953
NO. NO LIGHTS.
312
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,789
JUST FOR A SECOND, OKAY?
313
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:06,791
SURE, HERB.
314
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,964
I, UH... [Chuckles]
315
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:16,134
TRIED TO CALL LUCILLE TONIGHT.
316
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:19,470
SHE WASN'T HOME.
317
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,572
PROBABLY OUT HAVING A GOOD TIME.
318
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:25,609
IT'S REALLY STRANGE... I MEAN,
319
00:17:25,679 --> 00:17:27,611
LUCILLE NOT BEING HOME.
320
00:17:27,681 --> 00:17:29,814
SHE'S...
321
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:32,843
[Chuckles] SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN
THERE BEFORE, YOU KNOW?
322
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:38,489
I KNOW WHERE SHE IS, HERB.
323
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,559
YOU DO? YEP. SURE DO.
324
00:17:42,963 --> 00:17:45,430
BUT THERE MUST BE MANY THINGS...
325
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:49,400
MANY, MANY THINGS... THAT YOU
FIND WONDERFUL ABOUT HERB.
326
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:52,170
OH, NONE THAT I CAN THINK OF.
327
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,172
EXCUSE ME, LADIES. YES?
328
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,385
THIS IS COURTESY OF THE
GENTLEMAN AT THE FIRST TABLE.
329
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,609
FINE. OH, WHAT A NICE GESTURE.
330
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:01,157
WE SHOULD GO RIGHT OVER
AND THANK HIM. NO, LET'S NOT.
331
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:04,315
OH, WELL, I'LL JUST WAVE. NO, NO,
NO. DON'T WAVE. THEY'LL COME OVER.
332
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:07,196
OH! WOULDN'T THAT
BE EXCITING? [Chuckles]
333
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,787
LUCILLE, TELL ME...
334
00:18:09,856 --> 00:18:12,957
HASN'T IT BEEN PRETTY
LONELY WITHOUT HERB?
335
00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:15,960
WELL, YOU KNOW, I
HARDLY NOTICE HE'S GONE.
336
00:18:16,029 --> 00:18:18,462
YOU SEE, I HAVE
THIS POTTERY CLASS.
337
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,832
I MAKE, UH, LITTLE ASHTRAYS...
338
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:24,836
THAT LOOK LIKE THEY WERE
DONE BY TINY CHILDREN.
339
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,605
REX SAYS THAT
THEY'RE VERY PRIMITIVE.
340
00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:31,309
- WHO'S REX?
- HE'S MY INSTRUCTOR.
341
00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:35,613
SOMETIMES REX TAKES OFF HIS
SHIRT WHILE HE'S FIRING UP HIS KILN.
342
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,281
[Laughs]
343
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:40,484
THESE ARE FROM THE
GENTLEMAN AT THE END OF THE BAR.
344
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:43,154
OH! WELL, BLESS
HIS LITTLE HEART.
345
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:47,058
YOO-HOO! UH-HUH! OH, UH,
LUCILLE, LUCILLE. PLEASE. PLEASE.
346
00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:49,660
OH. WELL, TO GET
BACK TO THE SUBJECT,
347
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:53,364
REX SAYS THAT I'M A REGULAR LITTLE
POTTING FOOL, AND THAT I HAVE...
348
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:57,935
LET'S FORGET ABOUT REX.
LET'S TALK ABOUT HERB.
349
00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:02,907
- YOU LIKE HERB, DON'T YOU?
- OH, LUCILLE.
350
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:07,178
JENNIFER, IT'S ALL
RIGHT. I UNDERSTAND.
351
00:19:07,246 --> 00:19:10,214
HERB HAPPENS TO
BE A VERY SEXY MAN.
352
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:12,416
SHORT MAN IN HAT.
353
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:20,592
NOW, JENNIFER, LET'S JUST
BE HONEST WITH ONE ANOTHER.
354
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,706
I KNOW THAT THERE IS SOMETHING
GOING ON BETWEEN YOU AND HERB.
355
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,463
THERE'S NOT!
356
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,299
UH...
357
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:31,702
I'M SORRY. [Laughs] I'M
JUST A LITTLE UPSET.
358
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:33,872
WE'RE ALL A LITTLE UPSET.
359
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,918
WE LOVE YOU, LUCILLE. OH.
360
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:40,811
WE LOVE HERB. AND WE WANT EVERYTHING
TO BE JUST THE WAY IT WAS BEFORE.
361
00:19:40,881 --> 00:19:43,982
EVERYTHING. IT'LL
NEVER BE THE SAME.
362
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,885
WHY NOT?
363
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,953
I'M SORRY.
364
00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:55,025
WELL, JENNIFER, YOU SEE,
365
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:57,828
HERB SAYS THAT I'M A
WONDERFUL HOMEMAKER...
366
00:19:57,897 --> 00:20:01,833
AND A WONDERFUL
MOTHER, WONDERFUL COOK.
367
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:05,703
BUT I DON'T THINK THAT
HE THINKS ABOUT ME,
368
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,705
YOU KNOW, AS A WOMAN.
369
00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:10,041
JUST A WOMAN... A FRIEND.
370
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,911
BALD MAN WITH SCAR.
371
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:18,382
BLIND GENTLEMAN.
WOMAN DRESSED AS MAN.
372
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,619
AND GUY WHO SAYS HE'S BIG HERB.
373
00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:30,761
HI, GORGEOUS.
374
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,864
HI, HERB. HI, HERB.
375
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:35,199
SORRY.
376
00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:37,902
LUCILLE, I... I WANT
TO TALK TO YOU.
377
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:42,874
I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
378
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:48,479
LUCILLE, I'VE DECIDED
TO COME BACK TO YOU.
379
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:51,215
OH. WELL,
380
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:54,552
BEFORE YOU DO ME
THIS GREAT FAVOR, HERB,
381
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:57,867
UM, I THINK THERE'S
SOMETHING YOU OUGHT TO KNOW.
382
00:20:57,891 --> 00:20:59,557
WHAT?
383
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:01,603
I'VE BEEN UNFAITHFUL TO YOU.
384
00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:03,761
CHECK!
385
00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:07,365
YOU WHAT? WELL, HAVEN'T
YOU BEEN UNFAITHFUL TO ME?
386
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:10,334
NO! NEVER! I MEAN, I SWEAR.
387
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:13,337
NEVER TELL THAT TO ANYONE.
388
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:17,074
HOW? I MEAN... I MEAN... I
MEAN, WHY? WELL, NOT IN BODY.
389
00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:19,109
BUT IN SPIRIT.
390
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:22,180
OH. [Sighs] THANK GOD.
391
00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:24,915
I HAD IMPURE
THOUGHTS AT THE KILN.
392
00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:29,520
GOOD FOR YOU. [Laughs]
393
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:33,691
LOOK, LUCILLE, CAN'T WE JUST
GO HOME AND TALK THINGS OVER?
394
00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:36,972
WELL, I WAS PLANNING ON
DINING OUT THIS EVENING, HERB.
395
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:39,163
YEAH? WHO WITH?
396
00:21:39,232 --> 00:21:42,700
OH, SOMEBODY. I DON'T
THINK YOU KNOW HIM.
397
00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:45,869
WE WERE TO DINE AND
THEN PERHAPS GO DANCING.
398
00:21:45,938 --> 00:21:50,040
LUCILLE, I CAN DO ALL THOSE
THINGS. WELL, I DON'T KNOW, HERB.
399
00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:54,111
LOOK, I CAN DANCE. AND I
CAN EAT. YOU'VE SEEN ME EAT.
400
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:59,817
I WOULD JUST APPRECIATE
YOUR ATTENTION, HERB.
401
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:01,819
YOU'VE GOT IT.
402
00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:05,256
I WOULD LIKE IT TO BE LIKE
WE WERE DATING AGAIN.
403
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:08,492
YEAH. EXCEPT AT THE END
OF THE EVENING, WE CAN...
404
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:11,161
WELL, WE'LL SEE. WE'LL SEE.
405
00:22:11,231 --> 00:22:13,163
[Chuckles] WOW.
406
00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:17,568
WELL, I'D BETTER CALL REX AND
TELL HIM TO KEEP HIS SHIRT ON.
407
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:21,972
COME ALONG, HERB.
408
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:28,513
LITTLE GUY WITH BOW
TIE, TALL BLACK MAN,
409
00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:30,915
COWBOY AND LONGSHOREMAN.
410
00:22:33,586 --> 00:22:36,186
[Chuckles] AH.
411
00:22:40,626 --> 00:22:44,228
♪♪ [Piano]
412
00:22:44,297 --> 00:22:46,864
HI, GUYS.
413
00:22:46,933 --> 00:22:49,533
UH, WHAT'S YOUR SIGN?
414
00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:51,535
YOU LIVE AROUND
HERE, MAMA? [Laughs]
415
00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:54,538
LOOKIN' FOR A LITTLE
ACTION, SUGAR? [Laughs]
416
00:22:54,607 --> 00:22:58,943
WELL, LES, DON'T YOU
HAVE AN OPENING LINE?
417
00:23:03,216 --> 00:23:06,050
HI. I'M EXTREMELY WEALTHY.
418
00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:13,924
♪♪ [Rock]
419
00:23:17,997 --> 00:23:21,933
♪♪ [Man Singing, Indistinct]
420
00:23:29,609 --> 00:23:33,143
♪♪ [Continues]
421
00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:47,792
♪♪ [Ends]
422
00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,395
[Mews]